“In those who harbor such thoughts as, “He abused me, he struck me, he overcame me,he robbed me,” hatred never ceases… In those who do not harbor such thoughts, hatred will cease.” – The Buddha
“Hatred never ceases through hatred in this world; through love alone they cease. This is an eternal law.” – The Dhammapada (A Buddhist scripture traditionally ascribed to the Buddha)
Forgiveness is the means by which we will remember. Through forgiveness the thinking of the world is reversed. The forgiven world becomes the gate of Heaven, because by its mercy we can at last forgive ourselves. Holding no one prisoner to guilt, we become free. Acknowledging Christ in all our brothers, we recognize His Presence in ourselves. Forgetting all our misperceptions, and with nothing from the past to hold us back, we can remember God. Beyond this, learning cannot go. When we are ready, God Himself will take the final step in our return to Him. – Preface to A Course in Miracles, What It Says
The definition of love in Buddhism is: wanting others to be happy.
This love is unconditional and it requires a lot of courage and acceptance (including self-acceptance). The “near enemy” of love, or a quality which appears similar, but is more an opposite is: conditional love (selfish love, see also the page on attachment). The opposite is wanting others to be unhappy: anger, hatred. A result which one needs to avoid is: attachment.
This definition means that ‘love’ in Buddhism refers to something quite different from the ordinary term of love which is usually about attachment, more or less successful relationships and sex; all of which are rarely without self-interest. Instead, in Buddhism it refers to de-tachment and the unselfish interest in others’ welfare.
THE FOUR IMMEASURABLES: Love, Compassion, Joy and Equanimity, A View on Buddhism, Rudy Harderwijk
Forgiveness, kindness and unconditional love towards others are three central aspects which are emphasized in Buddhism and A Course in Miracles. While many religions teach the same things – A Course in Miracles and Buddhism, because of the reasons as explained in the last section (oneness), go beyond in teaching that these are not just altruistic actions, they are innately linked to the concept of self-interest and self-love.
The focus in Buddhism and A Course in Miracles is primarily one’s own state of mind and one’s own spiritual development. By taking responsibility for our own happiness, we take control over how we feel.
As best as we try in our efforts to make others happy, we will never really know how others feel. We cannot transplant our consciousness into the head of another. As such, the only barometer, and the only thing we should really be concerned with, is our own peace of mind.
The act of doing good deeds in the world, is a by-product of our causeless joy and happiness. They are but the fruits of our spiritual progress. The concept of doing good deeds in order to ‘earn points’ to get into Heaven or to win God’s good favor is just plain silly. It is putting the cart before the horse. There is nobody keeping score. God is not aware of the dream. There is nobody to impress or win favor but yourself.
While I personally regard ‘self-interest’ and ‘self-love’ as referring to the same concept, it is perhaps easier to work with the word ‘self-love’. This is because the word ‘self-interest’ (or self-centered) in our modern-day capitalist society, has connotations of amassing great wealth or having lots of ‘stuff’, at the detriment of others. This is a win-lose concept. The concept of right-minded self-love is always win-win.
Self-love means taking care of one’s self – physically, emotionally and mentally. In being highly concerned about one’s own peace of mind, and one’s own happiness, one can better contribute to the well-being of others. We can only give to others what we have. We will never engender peace in others and in the world if we are not peaceful ourselves.
“Be the change you want to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi
Self-love is a fundamental driver of human behaviour. It is how we are ‘hard-wired’. It is silly and perverse to deny our nature – it would be like driving a car in reverse all the time. Instead of trying to suppress and deny it, as many religions have, we would be far better off in acknowledging, accepting and harnessing it.
When we forgive someone, we do it for our own peace of mind. There is no point in holding on to grudges. As actor Malachy McCourt puts it, ‘Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.’
My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.
The Dalai Lama
Kindness created me kind. A Course in Miracles, Lesson 67
When we are kind to someone, when we love someone unconditionally, when we give without expecting anything in return – there is a dimension which opens up which is not of this world. That dimension is our Buddha-nature. That dimension is our Christ-nature. With every kind action, big or small, in the mirroring and recognition of the true laws of Heaven, we transcend through the world of form and illusion.
The laws of the world are entirely different to the laws of Heaven. Forgiveness, kindness and unconditional love make little sense in the thinking of the world. Why should we forgive murderers? Why should I be kind to those who mistreat me? Why should we love unconditionally if we know it will never be reciprocated? Why should I be the first to extend a lending hand or an apology in a difficult situation?
In all of these questions, the ego will always have the same response: ‘he/she/they don’t deserve it. I am justified in my action and in my anger / resentment.’
Here, we come to the central question which is asked of us:
Do you prefer that you be right or happy? T-29.VII.1:9, A Course in Miracles
It is our response to this key question which dictates our actions and our thinking in the world. It only makes sense to set a goal before we can make our choices in life. Many people go through life not knowing that they can choose their goal. Like a poor rider clinging on for dear life on a wild horse going round in circles, they suffer the violent shocks and bumps in life, all the while gripping on tightly on the reins of being ‘right’ all the time.
In choosing to be happy, in choosing to be kind, in choosing to forgive, in choosing to extend love, we get off that wild horse and start walking. As a result, we are calmer, more serene, and have more control over how we feel.
On behalf of Spirit, I say, you are very welcome! Love, Ken - 
Ken -
Hello!
This is precious – thank you so much!!!